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Interesting events. Mother visited saturday, then I visited my Nono. Depressing. He was having a very clear day too... completlry there.
Sunday - Mardi Gras Fair!! Got sunburned boobs, but that's my own fault for
a: having burn easy skin
b: not enough sunscreen and parasol occasionally not up
c: wearing a mad black and white striped corset which left them exposed to the suns harmful rays.
~ at least I looked hot!
My hair is now fuchsia with dark purple lurking in the back. I personally like it. Not sure which colour is better.... get second opinions.
Yesterday - Holy Hell!
Taffy was all bitchy. Bitchy with a capital 'B'. So I may have encouraged him a little believing it was general grumbles which needed to be said, which was true at first. Then came the text. So I stole his cigarettes... to aid with his 'quitting'. The bugger had my phone & didn't tell me what he'd sent till after the fact. Then... gunshot. Hit the tree across from where we were sitting, harmlessly listening and singing to Fall Out Boy. Shit! The last vestiges of my naivety were pretty much vapourised on the spot. Those I am aware of. Silently freaked out while walking home, at night, along the mostly dark roads 'cause council are too stingy to provide more than one street light per street aside from the biggest roads. My Chemical Romances 'vampires will never hurt you' was loud and on repeat - saving my sanity.
Then the stress and worry... reassuring Jenn that I was ok, franticly trying to recall all of the rants i'd witnessed earlier and not to hurt her anymore while giving the honest truth - i suck at that. Not the honest part - the hurting people, especially when I try not to. Trying not to imagine worst case scenarios, which i've never been good at. In short - Stress! Anxiety! Revelation! (the source of fresh tears) Tears by the pool table, split ink on paper and 3 pages of writing (over the top of abstract ink creations). Some of which should see the light of day. One day.
I believe that i'm blaming myself, which I know I have a tendency to do. Then again I also hate friends fighting... anyone fighting actually. I like arguing and teasing, but only if it's fun and good natured and all parties know it. Didn't sleep worth a damn - worried about Jenn being all upset as my mind went overboard with unscheduled excursions to worst-case-scenario land etc.
*Sighs* Could really do with a visit from my local hug merchant, unfortunately not a chance of that. Hug merchants are busy people in high demand. Maybe i'll chillax with some more ink-art, dodgy celebrity dancers (face it, it's amusing to see them make fools of themselves) then semi-chat if all parties are calm enough. This is no time for serious conversations over the phone - that's a strictly face to face deal when all parties are amenable.
*hugs self* Back to work I go. Lets hope i'm a little less tired and a whole lot less concerned next time I write one of these extended public notes to my self.
Sunday - Mardi Gras Fair!! Got sunburned boobs, but that's my own fault for
a: having burn easy skin
b: not enough sunscreen and parasol occasionally not up
c: wearing a mad black and white striped corset which left them exposed to the suns harmful rays.
~ at least I looked hot!
My hair is now fuchsia with dark purple lurking in the back. I personally like it. Not sure which colour is better.... get second opinions.
Yesterday - Holy Hell!
Taffy was all bitchy. Bitchy with a capital 'B'. So I may have encouraged him a little believing it was general grumbles which needed to be said, which was true at first. Then came the text. So I stole his cigarettes... to aid with his 'quitting'. The bugger had my phone & didn't tell me what he'd sent till after the fact. Then... gunshot. Hit the tree across from where we were sitting, harmlessly listening and singing to Fall Out Boy. Shit! The last vestiges of my naivety were pretty much vapourised on the spot. Those I am aware of. Silently freaked out while walking home, at night, along the mostly dark roads 'cause council are too stingy to provide more than one street light per street aside from the biggest roads. My Chemical Romances 'vampires will never hurt you' was loud and on repeat - saving my sanity.
Then the stress and worry... reassuring Jenn that I was ok, franticly trying to recall all of the rants i'd witnessed earlier and not to hurt her anymore while giving the honest truth - i suck at that. Not the honest part - the hurting people, especially when I try not to. Trying not to imagine worst case scenarios, which i've never been good at. In short - Stress! Anxiety! Revelation! (the source of fresh tears) Tears by the pool table, split ink on paper and 3 pages of writing (over the top of abstract ink creations). Some of which should see the light of day. One day.
I believe that i'm blaming myself, which I know I have a tendency to do. Then again I also hate friends fighting... anyone fighting actually. I like arguing and teasing, but only if it's fun and good natured and all parties know it. Didn't sleep worth a damn - worried about Jenn being all upset as my mind went overboard with unscheduled excursions to worst-case-scenario land etc.
*Sighs* Could really do with a visit from my local hug merchant, unfortunately not a chance of that. Hug merchants are busy people in high demand. Maybe i'll chillax with some more ink-art, dodgy celebrity dancers (face it, it's amusing to see them make fools of themselves) then semi-chat if all parties are calm enough. This is no time for serious conversations over the phone - that's a strictly face to face deal when all parties are amenable.
*hugs self* Back to work I go. Lets hope i'm a little less tired and a whole lot less concerned next time I write one of these extended public notes to my self.