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There are days where all it ever feels that I do is whinge.

Hi, this is the fihmouse herself,  Mishka, not at her best but able to drag herself to this corner of the universe pretty much since the last time I've posted.
I should catch you guys up a bit on some of the bigger stuff I've done and try to hold onto my new found resolve to post more. If you've been visiting my bff's lj then you allready know a few things. If not then yes, I still exist. If you don't see me here, assume that I'm in a deprssive slump somewhere, hopefully being hugged till things feel better.

Times have been low but fast. Been making the hangs with SCA people & a very snuggly Kiwi by the name of Alex. Dude snuggles like crazy! It's quite a lovely thing really. I've managed to make friday night drinks with my fellow nerd-bros like a normal human, crash Sparta, sing & dance. I've baked crack & fudge brownies of sheer awesome, and one giant rice boob. Delicous.
I've also managed to be hit on by skeezy dudes but they've taken the hint & are leaving me alone. Yay!

In exciting developments, I believe that I may finally have mustered up the required courage to ask out this guy I've a bit of a crush on. Due to the fact that I'm pretty sure his housemate lurks this part of the internet I'm not using names... yet. Not untill I've had the words leave my mouth.

Seen some theater, been to some films, spent the rest of the time feeling tired & isolated. Thankyou brain chemistry. I've things planned for the weekend - a gig with Alex tomorrow, go to Rin's to play with ropes all sunday then off to Chatswood to see Prince of Perisa with some geeks & mr crush. J

Can someone remind me to keep working on my Dr Horrible coat so I can show my face at Supanova? Thanks. I plan on being awesome for it. Better buy the boots & buttons then!

Farewell for now, it's cold & I require more snuggles. Or gloves. Or yarn. Or pattern. Actually, all of the above!

~ mishka
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Let me tell you about my phone. It suddenly developed a black spot, WHICH IS GROWING! Otheriwise it is the same piece of shit it's always been (cheapass motorola). This started on Saturday night, undropped and unprompted. The shitter - I have only one line of visable text left. It's getting almost impossible to call or even blind text. I CANT SEE WHO THE RECIEVER IS! GRRR. I'm starting to think that my phone is really a pirate who's been given the black mark. Otherwise WHY! KAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNN!

Not on a happier topic, I've found a depression trigger. COUNTRY MUSIC. I shit you not. Discovered when I burst into tears upon hearing Sarah Storer's voice on the weekend. I'm pretty sure I have to be fairly well into a low for this to work but I'm not going to risk it. PLEASE, do not play me country music.

Housesitting with Jess  & Jenn was good. $24 Opera at the cinema, meeting lots of lovely new people, Articulate!, bizzare discussions and not much lounging in pyjamas watching dvds. I was really looking forward to the lazy part, instead we were way too social. Ah well, at least I've now seen 'Hercules Returns'. >< Why did no one tell me how brilliant that old film is?

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like you. Then repost this [if you like] and spread the love.
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Hello my love-monkeys!
No, I haven't been infected with the Spirit de Allan Moore. I made a decision recently. I want to share and I shall keep it brief.


To do this, I need to land an apprenticeship. In order to do that, I need a portfolio.
Problem: currently, I do not have a portfolio of my art. I have not serious arted for years.


I need to have something showable for the Tattoo Expo in Syndey come March so I can pimp my ass off and hopefully, in addition to feedback, land myself an apprenticeship. At worst, some direction to get it done. Henceforth, in addition to crafting for mad dollars and hunting for some actual work since my boss pulled a 'you have no more full days, oh Mishka the now-Casual' right before Christmas, *breathes in* I will be drawing like crazy. All kinds of things in as many styles as possible. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm more comfortable with and yeah, it's not like even with an apprenticeship I'll be inking any skin for at least a year, let alone custom work BUT there is nothing wrong with presenting a professional image and showing that 'Hey! I totally have some mad skills. YOU SHOULD TEACH ME.'

If you want, I can tell you the origin story for this later. For now, I have a blank page, a pen and some drawing to do before I sleep. I may even draw some of the grand vision for my own skin.

fishmouse: (Default)
Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile."

• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions

Questions from J.K.Rockin )
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Right, I've been slack & have left this too late, as I do every year.

If you wish for some christmas greetings, please leave your details, namely:
name, email and a word/something you'd like me to draw.
I'll draw you something great and email it out. If you'd like real post, it'll take longer but I can do that.

If not, well, I have tattoos, fanart & schemes. You may very well get the odd sketch popping up here at some time.
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I'm only posting this here because I need to say something. Honestly, I'm quite upset but it's understandable.

For those of you who know me well, you will know about Sheba. For those who don't, Sheba is the family dog, living with my parents in Wollongong. She is a dark brindle Staffy with pretty horrid allergies but a heart of gold. She'd survived being hit by a car, many small children pulling her tail and her own strange eating habits. She is practically half cat,does the 'frog' thing, lazy, snuggly, sooky and constantly hungry. I did most of the raising of her from when she was a pup & miss her.

I found out today, barely 5 minutes before writing this, from my mother, that she is dying and there is nothing that can be done. We know this because some strange lumps I found on her belly a few months ago were tested very thoroughly by the vet.

Sheba has Lymphatic Cancer. Before you say 'chemo', she also has quite a low white blood cell count & the vet won't treat her with it because of that. The treatment is Steroids, the strongest ones available, stronger than the ones to reduce the allergies. I've been assured that she's hungrier than ever, resulting in my mother having to place the garbage bin on the table at night to prevent her going for scraps. I've also been assured that she won't be in pain and isn't now. It won't be untill she looses interest in her food & becomes listless that there will be any pain and that's the sign that her time is up. Unfortunately the signs are already coming. Diarrhea, intestinal tract functioning strangely and more sooky bouts. She really has turned into 'that rotten old cow' after all.

i need to decide and find time if I can/want/have time to take her to the vet, walks & be there for when she eventually needs to be put down.

I just want my Sheba healthy, here with me and not in pain. I guess 1 out of 3 isn't bad.
I'm going to make arrangements after my fathers birthday tomorrow, buy a camera & get as many photos as I can while she's still looking healthy. I'll also grab jpegs of the ones we allready have. No sketches till after, as is my tradition.

I will miss her.
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Just a quick update...

I feel so relieved that it's finished and ready to go days early! I am soo excited about this tattoo & it's not even going on my skin.
When I have the words, I'll post more about my feelings. Likely after the pictures go up.

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Tonight I saw Tim Burton's 9.
OMG. Tim Burton, I want to marry your brain. Timur Bekmambetov, I'll take you brain while I'm at it. Seriously folks, I love this movie.
Equal parts touching story, amaing art, post-apocalypse, steampunk and sack-buddies but 'oh, soo good'.
I have grand costumey plans with my bff for #3 & #4. SHUTTERBUGS! They communicate by projecting images by BLINKING RAPIDLY! It is one of the cutest things I've seen on screen since Ponyo.
These guys:

Currently I'm squeeing away and plotting yet more costumes while I make the first collar, get closer to finishing the tattoo design (seriously excited and nervous), submit applications for jobs and try not to panic about impending drum-fail. We'll see how well I do later.
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While researching for costume ideas the other week, I came across this on devient art:

And wrote two stories which I'm sharing with you today.

medusa ficlet #1 )

medua ficlet #2 )

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See, I was being serious. No pics untill I have the scanner-of-stress up and running. (I don't have a pic. for this. Probably for the best).

Title: Don't mention Pon Farr
Author/Artist: miska
Fadom(s): Fall Out Boy, Star Trek
Pairing(s): n/a
Rating: pg, au, ooc
Summary: A silly little piece of fandom-crack written after being hit by an image of Pete with Spock ears. I hope you like it.

Don't Mention Pon Farr

"For the last time, Pete," Patrick said without looking up from his perch on the bunk above Pete's, fingers fumbling slightly as he fastened unfamiliar boots. "Will you leave those ears alone."

Scowling, Pete dropped his hands to the gold braid edging his cuffs, and fiddled with that instead.
"Dude," he scowled, glancing over to where Andy and Joe were sitting- on his bunk, in their gold and blue shirts, ready to go and bickering over a magazine. "How come I-"
"You lost the bet with Ash, remember," said Andy, voice laced with amusement. "You ready, Patrick?"
"Ready." He strode to the door, adjusting the avocado green wrap fastened around his torso. "Coming, Pete?"

"This is highly fucking illogical," Pete moaned, tugging down his hemline and trudging to the door. "How about you go on ahead? I'll meet you there after I've adjusted these ears."
"And give you the opportunity to change into a pair of pants? I don't think so," Joe exclaimed, herding a reluctant Pete out into the parking lot. "It's just a dress. You've worn one before and it's only for one show. You got something against Vulcans?"

"No, and it's a five show deal," Pete muttered under his breath. "Ash is going easy on me with this one."
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I swore I wouldn't whinge but I think it may be inevitable.

I haven't been here for a while.
I still find it depressing that I get more responses when it's not me posting. A sign? Perhaps.

If you're reading this, pissed that you hardly ever or never see my happy tag commenting on your posts it is because I SERIOUSLY AM RARELY HERE. tHIS IS NOT AN INDICTMENT AGAINST YOUR WONDERFUL SELF. I also find going and reading through peoples blogs to be more than a little creepy at times. Granted, I am most likely missing a great deal of awesome things but if this place starts to depress me (see: issues & seeing awesome things I feel I can't achieve) then I back off for a while.

I am sorry. I should try to be 'round this part of town more in the future. I mostly enjoy my time here. I also like working out the way to phrase the thinky-thoughts cased inside my skull.

HOWEVER, since I am often bouncing towards 'pay attention to me' mode I will likely start posting the silly, weird and (by my judgment) not-amazing-but-I'll-get-there) interesting things I produce on paper. Or being silly. Or linking things.

I think it's time I become a properly functioning citizen of the interwebs.
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hmm... Mish is not a happy Mish.

Occasionaly I decide that I shouldn't speak anymore. This rarely goes as far as determining the exact methods to prevent me from ever communicating whilst remaining alive but that I shouldn't speak isn't so rare. It's also pretty common in my dreams (though not as much as my beloved dinosaurs). This is always after i've been emotional, upset myself, opened my mouth and said something, upset my self further and didn't learn from the just previous experience. It's a loopy mess. It doesn't last too long physically, I sulk once I'm back to rational thought patterns & continue. It usually results in me pulling myself away from most online speaking opportunities for quite a while. I tend not to go anywhere near here when depressed. You can always tell when I'm back because I post. Today is an exception. I'm cranky with myself and I  guess I felt like complaining/explaining or something like that.

Today I saw Ponyo. Everything I've heard about this film was true and more. By the time the end credits bounced cheerily onto screen it was cemented in my head as my favourite Studio Ghibli film of all time. I'd pay full price to see it again. In a heart beat. I want to wrap myself up in it's adorableness, snuggle deep and sleep untill I'm feeling better. Good luck honey. Seriously though, it's one of the best films I've seen in a long time. I'd tie it with Wall-E and Grave of the Fireflies for emotional movement and love-for.

Right now I should be producing something for the zine instead of feeling parinoid about showing people, by which I mean ANYONE, my work. It's all caught up in my issues (as is everything else I ever whinge about) but I said I would and so I shall, even if the idea can petrify me in an instant.  Tempted by dinosaurs, which I love but fear is fatal because Dinosaur Comics is so fantastic. *sighs* I really do whinge here alot, don't I? No need to comment, I know the truth. I think it actually is time for another break after all.

Farewell for now,

~ mishka.
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GRRRR, DAMNIT. I totally had a fantastic post, ready to go but bumped keyboard and lost it *sobs* Sorry all but you'll never know now.


I have been as busy as always and have regretably neglected you all.
No, I'm not procrastinating. Whatever gave you that idea. I totally don't have skeins of Debbie Bliss 'Pure Silk' sitting on my bed next to my newly christened 'zine' sketch pad with half finised ideas in it. I am feeling a little smug as I now have one sleeve left of my cardigan to knit! Nearly finished. All I have left after that is to attatch the sleaves, shape the yoke and add the button holes. Then I'll have to post it's sage greeness so I can smug some more.

Things I can cross off my list: Anberlin. Seeing how many years ago I adored them you'd think i'd be more excited about it all wouldn't you? I did hear them play Bryce and my song, a few more I used to love & then I had to go. The sound was absolutly appaling from all corners of The Roundhouse and besides, I was hungry. The Academy Is... brilliant as always and played another great show. I had a really good time. It kind of makes my sad even now that I wasn't all amped and that Anberlin kinda dissapointing from my ears being driven crazy but eh. Now I've seen them I can close the book on that and move along to the next show which makes me squeak from buzzy joy.
I kinda still can't belive that come the end of the month I will have finally seen them live. I also get to see the Mikado again. Sometimes I can't belive how lucky I am, being able to see many great bands, operas and plays. On a brighter note, I have finally seen the fantastic Mr Ben Folds. I am soo hitting that gig up the next time he lands on my shores. He is AMAZING! (but you all know that allready, don't you).

I have been soo decidedly lazy today but rememberd to ring my dad for Fathers Day. He was happy for the call & we talked football for a while (my dads team topped the table) andrecent events before promising to organise my siblings so we can have a birthday dinner for myeslf and fathers day dinner for him. It'll only be about two months late when it happens for me but better late than never. I'm missing them all today, can you tell?

*checks time* I should go and prep. some dinner or something and make some decisions and not just read fantastic Holmes/Watson fic (I blame you, Maggie).

~ mishka

HUGS TO EVERYONE - esp. Sunny and her latest fantastic piece of fic (read to me by my darling Jenn).
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or it's warmer in my basement, but that's only in the winter time.

Welcome my dears to Mishka's sporadic bitch session. Today's bitch, whinge and complain has been brought to you by one of the last slices of another delicious Zweifers cake.

Bitch: Bullying type behaviour and intimidation tactics in the workplace. I am not happy about that.
Whinge: The maternity leave position officially ended last wednesday but I do have lots of casual work atm. Good news is that I am being paid out for annual leave, sick leave and leave-in-liu. Excellent. Thankyou council.
Complain: ... Its hardly been cold enough this winter. Also my cousins are loud. Very loud, in that way young children have of being loud.

Well, thats taken care of. Health wise I am much better than when I last typed as I'm down to a mild case of the sniffles. Feeling a little down but I think that's due to almost everyone I know being on holidays right now and being able to hang out while I am working. *sigh* I'll just have to plan holiday time for later.

Report: Drum Kit.
It is fantastic! More matte than shiny & still requiring a stool (I find it awkward practicing from a proper chair) but it is soo much fun. It has functions! Hopefully I will start improving faster and build some fantastic confidence as well as some wicked beats. I feel pretty proud for assembling it properly and not needing to change anything accross. I need to name her/him/it & then I'm done.

My new bed is providing me with better sleep for which I am very thankful. It's about damn time too. I've decorated it with my Pirate Lanterns and are considering purchasing more lanterns to wind around the top. I don't have them plugged in all the time, don't worry about that.

If there's anything I promised last time & haven't delivered.... I'll re-read the last entry, find out & do something. Likely apologise but I might actually carry it through too. Ok OK, I'll investigate.

~ Mishka
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Greetings GQMFs,

This week hasn't been exciting. In fact, I've barely been outside at all. I've been sick, which sucks, but am better, which is excellent! This does mean that I should be well enough to face work tomorrow morning but I'm kinda getting sick of sleeping all day. I lie. I love sleeping all day.

Things Mishka now knows:

* My cousin is 5 & 1/2, very bright and VERY LOUD. He also likes showing off and has surprisingly good manners when he isn't preforming.
* The last movie my aunt fully cried to exhaustion in a film was....  Wrath of Kahn! I know you know when. (brought up while waiting for my doctor at 9:30 pm on sat. 4/7 because someone mentioned Bambi.)
                  Ok, so this one requires some background. I was, as assured by my Aunt who'd taken me to see Bambi at the State Theatre, inconsolable after watching the scene where Bambi's mother died. I kept saying 'Bambi's mum is dead. I know the truth'. I had to be taken out and missed most of the film calming down. Apparently the other children thought she'd gone on holiday or something? At least I didn't break a talking mirror that time.Truefax.
* Ibuprofen can make me vomit.
* My mum won't give up on the 'get an "interesting" haircut' angle. Then again, we're all as stubborn as each other.
* I have a sister with the favourite colour 'yellow', matched by the afore mentioned cousin.
* Orange glucose sachets aren't all that bad...except for the last sip which makes me go 'bluwahwohwha

Before I go, things of excitement!

1) I HAVE A NEW BED! Exciting because I've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor for the past year and a half because the old one, a lovely freebie, creaked whenever I breathed.

2) K.RUDD brought me an electric drum kit. Which means I never have an excuse not to have practiced again but still, YAY!

Well, this annoying, overgrown (see the hair) aquatic chicken should be leaving you now for her beauty sleep.


~ mishka

PS: SUPERNOVA & GQMF & 70th Birthdays to come in the next exciting update!

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~ No redshirts were harmed in the making of this post~       
... only because they all ran away. Suspicious bastards, the lot.

Tick 'yes' for Mish's great big renewed obsessive interest in all things Trek, minus wearing redshirts which is an amazingly bad idea with bright pink hair. I've a few things to 'fess to.

a) I am proud of my littlest sister. She's now determined to see Trek & is helping a friend write a short play set in the general Trekverse. There are colourblind aliens and redshirt shootings. They don't have an ending yet but they are planning on turning this into a rpg game for their friends. ILY KO! Keep on geeking on & you too shall excede your awesome quota, young padawan.
b) SHANE WARNE THE MUSICAL!! I totes got to say a few words to Eddie Perfect that weren't embarrassingly faily or fangirly. It was a fantastic night & they had better be releasing a dvd.
c) Shopping: I have two new scarves! A green wool/silk pashmina & a bright yellow linen pashmina for summer. I want to knit me a Scottie scarf because I totally need a slim scarf for all seasons. Then I have an excuse to knit a Scottie hat. Also, my boots have come! They look like this:  and are lovely! I also have, so far, resisted the temptation to refill my mostly empty wardrobe.
d) I want to learn a new language... & I will. Soon. Maybe I can start next week?
e) Test results are in: my psyc. was right. I'm cool with it, even if its been said that it's a great big engraved name plate of validation. *hugs my quotable friend*

I'm off to look at clothes, drum kits, Star Trek icons and other pretty things Star Trek or otherwise. I'll also knit and practice some.
Hugs to everyone.

~ mishka

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Greetings all,

Immediate update: I am doing a four day OH&S course, paid for by Council (thankyou thankyou) & I have been haing a relly good time. Besides wanting to fall asleep at the end of my first class yesterday but I'm pretty sure that the law was wearing me out.
It's made me realise a few things:
a) I miss actually learning new things. I really should consider a night/online course for next semester.
b) I grew up knowing & hearing an awful lot about OH&S, especially concerning my Fathers industry
c) SHE IS THE MINTIES LADY! (also a damn good trainer)

Let me explain...

My Fathers a Coal Miner. I grew up hearing a lot of discussions about various problems & solutions, both at his work and Pits all around the world. My instructor, Louise, has been in the industry roughly since the seventies and is an international accredited OH&S Auditor. She has many a great story. Today she was recalling one were she'd gone to a mine and a she short term system she introduced rewarding PPE compliance. With Minties. In the break I asked her if that was about so long ago and at a certain mine and she said yes! I remember my Father telling myself and my siblings about it at the time and that they had a 'great female OH&S girl visiting'. Proof that my long-term memory isn't too shabby.

As you can tell, I feel pretty proud for being able to ping one of her cases exactly. It's something to remember too - rewards, not bribes for blokes who're refusing to co-operate. Can't guarantee it'll work but it could be worth a shot.

... Am considering doing further study in this field. I've always found it interesting and doing the course has just piqued my interest again. Not sure whether the TAFE or wether I'll finally finish one of my double degree and do it post-grad.

~ and back to our regular broadcasts.

I have a small confesion to make. I have seen, & loved High School Musical 2! The film is completly ridiculous, hilarious and filled with amusing song and dance numbers. Seriously: a pink piano, boy band moves, piano solo, copious amounts of glitter and heated stares - how could you not love it. Also, Ryan/Chad is now CANNON. They had swapped thier entire outfits after the charmingly gay 'I don't dance' number. I figure the outfit swaps was Disney's way of saying 'Yes, they are totally doing each other'. It's also amusing how neither of them have any chemistry with the females of the cast yet they keep trying to set up something between Chad and Daphne? (academic olympics girl from the first film). Zafron and Hudgens bore me but oh my, I totally love both Ryan and Sharpai.

Mothers day went well. K.O., the youngest sister, has converted my brother to the dark side. NARUTO. He thinks it's hilarious. She's promised Death Note will be next. I suppose it's keeping him off the W.O.W for a while. My other sister is about to start her second five week placement in Nowra, which reminds me, I have a public service announcement: If you are planning or think you're having a heart attack, head over to the Bankstown area. They have the best stroke rehabilitation clinic in the country. They do, however, only have 20 beds in that ward so you'll want to pick a quiet day. I'll be seeing them all again next weekend as we're going out somewhere for family dinner to celebrate my brothers 21st! I need to pick up something appropriately cheeky that is safe to open in front of the parents.

That said, I should proarbly spell-check this and post before it's time for my beauty sleep. My newly recommended sleep cycle, an effort to try to get an eventual 8 hours of sleep and to stop me getting so damn tired, is trying. I'm a night person naturally and have been a mild insomniac since early highschool but day work means that I need to keep it up and i'll adjust eventually.

Night all,

~ mishka

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Evening all,

MERLIN! Merlin has finally reached Australian televisions and I've now seen the first episode. It's not at all historically accurate  but oh so pretty. Lots of fun and OH THE GAY. Anthony Stuart Head, you are more awesome than ever. I predict great and never resolved sexual tension between Arthur and Merlin, which I will love. Who doesn't love the gay and cute boys? I think I'm really going to like this series, especially if I can get my cousin to shut up for an hour so I can watch it in peace. He is one of those constantly noisy/busy 5 yo. boys.

So, do you speak Starbucks? )
Seriously, the best stuffs under the cut.

Today, it has been a strange day today. I woke up tired, lasted five hours before I had to have a 2 hour nap. Woke up from that not as tired and are still up, trying to make it to at least 10 before I sleep again. Knowing me I'll oversleep and be tired all tomorrow too, which isn't good as I need to be awake in the evening for the first Belly Dance class of the new term. I will also likely have Lindt as my meeting in town is right near the Lindt shop. I may have to investigate thier new range first hand. Right now I have, as always, knitting projects on the go and fic. to read. I should depart and get somehting done.

Hugs to all,

~ mishka

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Evening all,

I've been having a lonely kind of day. It' s curious that I'm all calm in session, though I'm yet to work up the confidence & trust to talk about anything personal, but as soon as I walk outside and try real life application it kinda crumbles. No need to worry, I've been working on the insecurity issue of the moment. It wasn't soo good last time I got low with that as a lead in. It's only early days and as per usual, I'm expecting way too much. As you might have guessed, I had a session this morning which is why I've had C.B.T rambling through my head again.

Mary and Max. Tuesday night, Dendy. Boo at Citybus failing and taking over an hour and a half for a fourty minute trip but Yeah! The film is fantastic. I was laughing, crying and it all ended too soon. I didn't want the movie to end. If you are stuck for a film, I reccomend it (& shant spoil it for anyone just in case).  I should also make you all aware that a) Dendy do $9 tickets on tuesday nights and b) Cinque (the cafe next door) now have $11.90 pasta + garlic bread on tuesday nights. Dinner + a movie for about $20!

Monday was hanging with Jenn. I provided the cookies, we brunched then Veronica Marsed and scoured the 50% off second hand book sale at the Town Hall. Relaxing day. Otherwise I've been staying warm, trying to rest and knitting. The Nat-gloves are almost done, new fancy yarn for yet another 'project for a friend' (because I love spoiling my friends with knitted/crocheted goods and fancy yarn). I have finally started the cardigan using the sage 'soft haze' (patons) yarn my mother gave me for christmas. 

Speaking of knitting... I should go, formulate something more interesting to type and get back to it. Farewell for now,

~ mishka

Ps: the sweet boots I wore to MSI
I am totally considering outlaying the cash dollars and buying another pair, most likely the knee high buckled affairs when all my chucks finally die. Also will likely buy Docs at the same time. Seriously the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn.

Pps: have gained faith in online shopping again. May purchase a Rainbow Brite backpack soon. Also....  I HAVE A MOOD RING! Tick to childhood goal finally filled.


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June 2010

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